There are two reasons your New Year’s Resolution will fail and they have nothing to do with your accountability partners, scheduling, or discipline.
Most self-help gurus will advise you to create S.M.A.R.T. goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-sensitive. It’s a cute acronym and reads nice in books, but in practicality it’s a tedious exercise that is hard to start and even more difficult to sustain. The best thing to come out of it is an ambitious, mature-sounding ideal that impresses your friends or boss.
Goal setting can be helpful as a short-term project management strategy, but it’s not a helpful compass or long-term motivation strategy. Most goals are fragile and easily derailed by uncontrollable variables. You can read more about this in Chapter 5 of Catching Confetti.
Your Resolutions don’t fail because they aren’t specific enough, they’re too lofty, or there’s no deadline. In fact, the pressure of the deadline might be the problem. Among others, here are two main reasons why your Resolution will likely fail:
Reason #1: You rely on willpower to make surface-level changes.
To make a lasting change you have to address the root of the problem.
Think of it like grabbing the wheel of a ship whose autopilot is set to south and turning it to north. You use all your might to override the autopilot. It works for a little while until you run out of energy. Then the wheel spins right back to its default.
The change you’re trying to make only lasts as long as you have the energy. You won’t survive a setback, a plateau, or a disruption to the routine.
To make a change that lasts, focus on the root of the issue. Reset the autopilot.
Reason #2: You’re focused more on results than process.
If you’re being honest, you’re not truly trying to make a change in your life. You’re just trying to hack your way to an outcome you think will make you happier.
If you’re serious about growing and evolving into a better version of you, commit to a distance, not a destination. I wrote about this idea and applied it when I joined a tennis league three months ago. In the fall season I was 3-10 and lost in the first round of the playoffs. With 10 days remaining in the winter season I am 11-6 and atop the leaderboard. The only “goal” was to play more matches than anyone else and see how much I improved. Other players in the league refuse to play more matches until they improve. They’re focused on the results. I’m focused on the process.
I don’t typically set New Year’s Resolutions. For me the “year” ends with the last basketball game of the season and begins with training camp in the fall. I reevaluate in the offseason and set a vision for the qualities I want to develop in the coming season. I focus on the type of person I need to be to do the kind of work that makes the impact I want to have.
This year, however, I am making a commitment for the start of 2021. I plan to write 1-2 hours every day. I won’t be using a stopwatch, though. The only constraint is (1) do it every day, (2) do it long enough to get into flow, (3) stop when I’m finished.
There is no pressure to produce a new book or change the world.
There is no pressure to go longer than I have the inspiration for.
I plan to write every day, long enough to connect ideas, and short enough to leave encouraged to do it again tomorrow.
I’ll commit to it for as long as it’s serving me well in the pursuit of the type of person I want to become to make the impact I want to have.
What is your New Year’s Resolution?
How will it hold up when January becomes February, when Monday becomes Wednesday and then Saturday, when sunshine becomes snow and ice?
Who do you want to become in 2021?
What is keeping you from being that type of person?
What routines can you commit to that will survive the long haul?
If you’re ready to ditch the same old practices and make an investment that truly brings lasting change from year-to-year, join me on the 8-week Catching Confetti journey.