Have you tried to apply a big change to your life but came up short?
Have you experienced the fruits of change only to revert back to your old ways?
More discipline, rigid rules, and peer pressure help but don’t result in lasting change.
If you want to make a lasting transformational change in your life, you have to start with the way you think.
How you think affects how you behave, the decisions you make, and the health of your relationships. When you neglect the state of your mind, you leave everything else up to chance.
Where you feel stuck, frustrated, or uninspired can be fixed with a shift in the way you think.
Without a mindset shift then all of your changes will be temporary. They won’t survive the next obstacle or setback. They will only last as long as your caffeine high. If you don’t change the autopilot, then your changes will only last as long as you have the energy to hold the wheel.
Here are two critical shifts to make in the way you think:
1. Shift in focus
We are obsessed with two questions:
Do they like me?
Am I doing a good job?
Our focus is consumed with belonging/acceptance and validation of our performance. It is driving our reactions and our decision-making; at home, at work, in our community.
Instead, shift your thinking to this: “Who I am is not defined by what I do or who I am in relationship with.”
Shift your focus from what you are accomplishing to who you are becoming.
2. Shift in presense
When we feel the pressure to perform well, get results, and be liked, life stresses us out.
We force our will onto life, micromanage conditions, and just try harder.
Instead, shift your presence to this: “I will cooperate with what is unfolding.”
The obstacles you face are not an opponent to conquer with more intensity.
They’re also not an oppressor we have to be victims to.
They are an opportunity to grow you; to upgrade your thinking, your skills, or your strategies.
Relax, seek clarity, and harness the circumstances for your advantage.
You don’t have to be passively shaped by what happens to you in life. As my buddy Chris McAlister said, “You are not the causal agent of all your life’s circumstances.” But you can take ownership of your growth and be intentional about the way you think.
Because transformational change begins with shifting the way you think.