Have you ever felt super frustrated?
Like you wanted to kick a water cooler or crack a bat over your knee?
Daniil Medvedev took his frustration out on his tennis racket in the second set of the 2021 Australian Open Final.
John McEnroe was sympathetic toward the outburst (because of course John McEnroe was) saying sometimes you just have to get it out of your system.
I don’t disagree. When you feel like you’re at the end of your rope, sometimes the best thing to do is to just let go of it. Usually that last strain we are desperately holding onto is the biggest impediment to our clear path forward.
Once everything has collapsed around us we free ourselves from the burden of holding onto what isn’t working. Then we can pick up the pieces that truly matter and take the next right step.
Except in the Final, Daniil never made the next step forward. He got stuck in a revolving door of frustration. I’m sure when he watches the replay of the match he will be sick to his stomach, realizing he wasn’t as bad off as he felt in the moment. With a clear mind he will realize that if he had just reset his mindset he could have had a chance to dethrone the champ. (My certainty only comes from having been in a similar situation.)
You will never be able to perform your best or lead others well when you’re frustrated. Next time you feel the frustration boiling inside you, find a moment to ask yourself these five questions so you can regain traction before you let a golden opportunity slip away:
1. What did I expect to happen when I started?
Play my best tennis on the biggest stage and dethrone Novak Djokavic at the Australian Open.
2. What would those results have said about me?
I am among the greatest tennis players in the world.
3. What actually happened?
I was dominated in 3-straight sets.
4. What do those results say about me?
I don't have what it takes to beat the best players in Major tournaments.
Your frustration surfaces where your identity is too attached to the results. Now that your expectations have been shattered and you realize you can't produce your identity through achievements, you are free to engage with reality in a way that keeps you moving forward and leads to growth.
5. What skills or character traits can I focus on improving?
I need to become more comfortable in my net game, more consistent with my forehand, and more mature in my mental preparation.
Maturity is not measured by how often you get knocked off balance, but how quickly you can re-center.
What frustrating moment do you reflect on with this filter in mind?
Do you need help answering the questions for your particular situation?
Let us know how we can help in an email to connect@championshift.com.