“The sand was amazing.”
But did you win?
How did you play?
Any good spikes?
Did you serve any aces?
How many points did you score?
“It was great on the toes.”
I just finished checking the scores on the sports app and was just as eager to hear how she did in her sand volleyball tournament.
Everything I asked was related to performance. Did she win or lose? Succeed or fail? Conquered or defeated?
She kicks ass at volleyball.
But she excels most in being fully present with the moment.
“How did you do?”
“The sand was amazing. It was great on the toes.”
Sometimes we are so driven to achieve the end goal that we forget to enjoy the journey. We relentlessly push ourselves to the top and disregard how we get there.
The most inspiring question a parent can ask a child after the game is, “Did you have fun?” When we become too attached to the result, it no longer becomes play.
I dribbled a basketball on family walks to shoot on each basket we passed around the neighborhood.
My dad and I used to love a fresh net hanging from a rim. We would race the world to see who could be the first to score on the new net.
Pursuing victory can push you to the edge of your abilities.
Needing the victory to feel whole will burn you out getting there.
The challenge for the ultimate competitors: How do you live in the tension of climbing the mountain and enjoying the walk?
How do you live presently engaged while future focused?
The first thing my dad and I do when we walk into a gym is go to the free throw line and find the nail hole that aligns with the center of the basket. 4,700 square feet of wood and we look for the speck that centers us with the goal.